Dharmafrog

A Second Chance At A Second Career

In 1998 when I became a Mom, I was a photo lab technician at a small photo lab/camera store. I was under paid and under appreciated, I hoped and prayed to be a paid photographer and have the freedom to take along my sweet beautiful little baby boy. I had dreams of carrying my boy in a baby sling and taking photos. I wanted an adventure and I wanted my little family to be at my side.

Life sometimes has a way of taking the wind out of your sails and throwing you over board to either sink or swim. I knew life on my own would be hard, but I was 19 and welcomed it, dared it. 

My James started having panic attacks and anxiety. It was pretty tough on us, I couldn’t help him and he felt like he was drowning. We had to make a few job changes and move to another state before we found something that made both of us feel like we were on the right path. He found his career, he found something that defines him, gives him challenges and excites him, and he kicks ass at it every day. I want that.

Yes I have challenges and excitement in my life as my boys’ Mom, but unfortunately boys get older and more grown up and don’t need you to wipe their tushies or cut their enchiladas. They learn to fly on their own, and so my full time career for the last 8 years will eventually come to an end.

I’ve been thinking about what in the world I will do when my Cameron is in high school and my older boys are all grown up with jobs/ careers of their own? I will have had a 20 year career in raising (birthing, nurturing, protecting, wiping, kissing, tickling, curing, watching, educating, hugging, directing, supporting, encouraging, assisting, disciplining, feeding, enriching, cleaning) little babies to men.

It will be a time to think of myself. Something I am not used to doing. I have a lot of interests, but when I think about the things I am good at… well, that’s harder than it sounds, almost impossible for me. I have 12 years. I am nervous and excited all rolled into one, and I have no clue what to do.