There was a moment yesterday, so brief and rare.
Cameron walked into the kitchen after being escorted from the same area while being extremely strong willed. I was frustrated and late making lunch.
He looked up at me and I saw who he really is. Every once in a while there will be a look or just a tighter than usual hug or an unsolicited kiss, that will show me just how much my boys love me and what good souls they really are.
Without asking for another snack, without begging to put on his Thomas the Tank Engine dvd, or saying anything at all, looked up at me and closed his eyes, I reached out and brushed his hair away from his face and he opened his eyes and smiled. I told him that I loved him, and he sighed and whispered that he loved me too.
I knelt down and pulled him close to me, not wanting to ignore that moment. He wrapped his arms around my neck I kissed his cheek, he giggled and squirmed free. And then he was gone, bounding off like a kangaroo without a worry or a care.
My Camera has captured great moments of my life. I feel comfortable behind it. There are photographers who can definitely put me to shame, but I know my life would not be complete without my camera. I do not have a great memory, but I can look at a photo and remember that moment and what I was thinking when I took it.
I plan to further my education in photography, once my life slows down a little more and I do not have a demanding 3 year old on my heels. I’m also going to try to get out of my “office”, and play with my camera more.
Sometimes after a long day of homework, pet and house duties and “stuff”, I lay in bed at night and think about how far my boys have come. From microscopic specs, to kicking creatures cramped inside my womb, to daredevil one year olds, and now intelligent and bubbly people. It truly is an amazing experience for me, to be my boys’ mother.
All children and even adults, go through transitions right? So what happens if you have multiple children in transition at the exact same time?? I’ll tell you what happens! It’s a phenomenon I like to call
“GOD, HELP ME!”
First, Subject C. At any given time can be as cuddly as a sleepy baby kitten, and then turn around and sprout horns and fly around the room screeching like a pterodactyl “You made me mad Mom!!!”. TRANSITION: Toddler to boy
Next, Subject B. Can remember specific names of Pokemon or Magic the Gathering card names, their abilities and power and toughness, or that you told him two days ago that you’d make him hot chocolate on thursday morning. But looks at you like you have a gross booger the size of Texas hanging from your nose, when you are distraught that he didn’t tell you about the dog pee on the door mat, cause he “forgot” to tell you. TRANSITION: Boy to kid
Last, Subject L. Will be getting a “talking to” for breaking rules 7, 11, 15, 19, 21, and 41, only to then break rule 7 AGAIN while his punishment is being explained to him. Making his mother and father turn prematurely gray with his smarty pants attitude and facial expressions. TRANSITION: Kid to teen
sigh…
One day at a time One hour at a time One minute at a time
Lord, forgive what I have been, sanctify what I am, and order what I shall be.
Thomas Wilson
Journaling has always been a huge part of who I am. I started my first one when I was 9. Writing and doodling and stickers! (I ♥ stickers) Writing words is much more natural for me than saying them. I can communicate the way I want. I’ve kept almost all of my old journals in the hopes that one day after I am gone from this life my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren will understand me and either be inspired or learn a great lesson from them.
I’ve started journals for each of my babies too, starting when I first found out I was pregnant with them. I write how much I love them, what they mean to me and our family, their milestones and inspirational thoughts for them. The journals will be gifts for their 18th birthdays.
Now this bloggy is just an extension of my written journal, and it’s not only therapeutic for me but hopefully gives some laughs and inspiration to others too.
Toppy the laptop.
Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.
Maya Angelou
James makes me still feel special. He has been my Valentine for a long time and I’m so thankful for that. He’s the only reason I am a wife, I am so blessed to be by his side, and share his name.
Today he gave my a ring to compliment my amethyst engagement ring. But it’s more than just a ring, it means he hasn’t stopped showing his love for me. I love how he looks at me even when I look like poo. I love when I make him breakfast and he says “thanks hunny”. I love that he hasn’t given up on me and is a great daddy. I love that he is authentically himself, and is pee-in-your-pants funny, and still surprises me. Thank you for being a great Valentine James!
Happy Valentine’s Day Mr. Mathias! Love, Mrs. Mathias
♥ + ♥
Our Bryce turns 8 today!
Words escape me to describe the exact way I feel about this. On one hand I am so proud of him and excited for him to be 8, all the books he can read now. The way he loves math and animal science. On the other side, I miss the the sore ribs from his kicks through my womb, and the sweet way he would lay his head on my chest breathing deeply. He is the true heart of our family, and I am cherishing every moment.
Happy 8 years baby! ♥
She came into this world screaming. Cut from her mother’s womb. Over due and lungs full of pneumonia. Her poor parents were scared and too young.
Puberty hit hard. She traded her skinny jeans for a back brace. School was torture. An outsider looking in. She wasn’t the pretty one or the nice one. She didn’t do rules, so trouble followed.
Got a job. Met him. He looked at her. He really saw her. He excepted her. She couldn’t be without him. He became her sunlight. Her salvation. She loved him. He loved her. They needed each other. Her soul tripled, bringing life, that she now protects. She keeps it all at a distance, not understanding why.
She doesn’t know her parents. They don’t know her. With no connection to this world, she goes on. She tries to make her life. Her instincts are strong, good and bad. She struggles, puts on a smile. She repents and prays. She tries to follow her path, not knowing where it leads.
Can a person with no specific specialness of any kind really make a blissful life? Can greatness come from nothing? Does love find it’s way to the person who needs it the most? Will she ever find that peace in her heart that will make it all ok?
She’s a fighter. Too spirited to give up. She stands. Searching, asking and waiting. So much more of everything to share with the only ones that matter. From all the bad, will she ever find the good?
One. I am not a mommy blogger. I blog about my kids, yes. But only because they are the neatest kids I know. I am a blogger who likes to share funny or inspiration or show my friends and family the happenings of goings on around here. Blogger - yes. Mommy blogger - no.
Two. When I say “I need a vacation” or “I’m done” that means help me I’m loosing my mind. My job is a gift I know that for absolute certain. It can also be way too much for me handle at times. I am not from Wonder Mom stock. I can only go a few days without crying into my pillow at night hoping the next day I won’t suck too badly.
Three. Liking to punch things (or stupid people) is not a bad thing. Sugar Ray Leonard didn’t think it was a bad thing. Some people are just born with a little more fight in them and it needs to travel out of their fists…or in 2-16 cuss words.
Four. 11 meals a day is not an acceptable nutrition schedule for anyone, let alone children.
Five. If you are psycho and you treated me like trash in high school, then there is no way on this holy earth I am accepting your friend request. It’s not going to happen. no.
